Too knackered to tell any stories @ this time but have some beaties to tell esp about those to Malteso's Telescopic Stick & the Manilla Gorilla

Not sure who this one is cause It Was Dark In There but after making a pig of himself one of the Malteso's decided it was time to have a snooze in the back of the landcruiser

looks like dave ,,,yep im sure it is

I think you're right looks like his new blue esky next to him

Dan called Dave his "Beer Fairy"

trophies for sale im sure that sumo bought them from a trash and treasure sale for 44 shots 44 missis talk for its self as for jumpy mouth of the south john laws jabba jaws noo stop blabba and all bull shit i must add ..if he shot as many goats pigs or rabbits as he talked we would of needed a semi to bringem home .....lucky i know how to poke a stick and throw a rock or we would have come home empty handed .....catch22 wins again....

As some of ewes may already know the trip started off with a detour to Lithgo thanks to Daves Brurry Stupid Irriot of a GPS called Ken lucky I didn't throw the Bloody thing out the window where it belonged.

To make things worse all I heard from Dave was It's Never Let Me Down B4 & I figured out why it took us via Lithgo when I saw the ankle Bracelet on Daves leg, Figured he had to report to his Parole Officer @ the Lithgo Correctional Centre

Every time I got the sh*ts & told Dave to piss that stupid Ken off he started to rave on it was taking us the right way, now not to many places I haven't been to in NSW & know how to get to get up Tamworth way thougth the stupid GPS was taking us via windsor so I got suckered in & went along with the idiotic thing till we were nearly @ Lithgo thats when I spat the dummy & told him to piss the silly thing off.

I pulled into a servo to get a proper map Dave was talking to one of the locals who told him that we were going the right way naturally Dave had a big smile on his his face cause he thought he'd proved Jumpus wrong which would've been a 1st for him.

Then I told him to tell the local guy where we had started the trip from, well that was a different story wasn't it ??

The poor guy laughed so much he rolled over & died, Dave was very happy with that as he was our very 1st road kill & Dave got to have him for lunch

The Navara was a pleasure to drive handled the roads with ease it was the 1st time I'd gone on a trip not towing anything with it & had to watch the speedo cause B4 you knew it we were doing around 160 klm's p h with a touch of the accelerator, next stop was Mudgee had to refuel & whilst Dave was in paying for the fuel I drove off & left him there went & hid around the the corner & watched him from a distance he was like a lost sheep & the locals there were laughing @ him cause they'd seen me drive off & hide.

Anyways I finally decided to go fetch him cause he had his thumb up in the air trying to hitch a ride back to Sydney but the irriot was walking on the wrong side of the road & would've ended up in Broken Hill had anybody stopped to give him a lift

So off we went on our merry way again out of the mountains onto the flats around sundown saw roo's all over the place & I hit one when it decide to do the roo'y thing & jump back @ the car fortunately it was only a little fella & hit the side step with no damage to the car Dave was happy with the road kill as he got to have another snack.

7. 30 pm saw us finally arrive @ SUMO's mind ewes we left @ 11 am & that stupid GPS took us through every tollway in Sydney to get there must've cost around $30 in tolls.

Well that was day 1 more to follow I gave both Dave & SUMO new titles under their usernames well Dave is now Telescopic Stick cause SUMO told him to go poke a euro with one, mind you this although a little bugger this is still a feral roo more than capable of ripping Dave to pieces

There Once was a Bloke called Jumpy
He went for a Trip it was Bumpy
He first headed South
And boy what a Mouth
He gave everyone's Ears a good thumping.

There WAS a Bright Feller called Dave
He looked like he needed a Shave
Had a Mate called KEN
But Never again
Cause he sent Poor old Ken to his Grave.

In days of old
When knights were bold
SUMO didn't eat as much
He sat in my car
Eating from a bloody BIG JAR
When the bugger got up
The seat was shaped like a cup
And it looked like a BLOODY BIG CRATER

Not in the mood to do day 2 @ present but here's a pic of a couple of stinker's we saw whilst driving to the property makes a difference shooting them with the bigger megagoogle camera & the bigger Telepoopy lens.

these 2 were prob only 200 meters from us & only took off when they saw Dave running @ them wearing a BIB holding a knife & fork




Here's another herd actually there was 3 herds but the other 2 herds aren't in the pic they were around the hill now for all ewe city slickers the bigger dark object aren't goats they're Moo Moo Cows Dave had a hard time getting the Moo Moo's to fit in his Gum Boots

Pic was taken from around 700 meters away if I recall correctly

The Malteso connection

Dave Mounting SUMO

SUMO WAS HIS NAME
SHOOTING WAS HIS GAME
NEVER SHOOT ANY
NOT WORTH A PENNY
SO NOW HE IS CALL FANNY....

poor old sumo ,,you guys could of stood the legs on a brick or somethin ,cause he looks like hes havin trouble gettin his head down low enough to site up ,,,lol

i once met a guy named jason
a famer was his occupation
when the debt collectors arived
he nearly died..but wife saved him again.....

That's a gr8 shot,shows the country well.

Just one Q.Not having a permit,but remmbering the rules as i was applying for one.

How do ya's go with the no shooting over horizon rule there???

Looks a bit tricky.

Also my pic of the poets goes to DAVE,with MG a close second and JG LAST

Some good pics there aswell as a good laugh


SMELLY

It's all one property Smelly & the only thing I shot from that spot was the photo's

I crept up on the goats from around the hill & was shooting down @ them


There was a fellow called Smelly
He crept up on the goats on his Belly
What more could you ask
He was wearing his mask
As he mounted a nanny called Kelly

:WowSpinBlue: thats a good one JG.!!





Maybe we should have poems section



SMELLY

there once was a guy named jumpus he used to try and humpus
we gave him the snip , he started to wear a slip
so then he decided to dumpus

there once was a guy named catch ,wherever he walked he used to scratch,
we had a look ,it was from humping a chook ,







come on guys help me finish this one off

I ONCE MET SOME GUYS ON THE NET
JASON SUMO AND BRET
JUMPAS SO SMART
BOY HE CAN FART
AND NOW WE ARE BACK WHERE WE STARTED

JASON WAS HIS NAME
MONEY OWING WAS HIS GAME
HE THOUGHT HE WAS WISE
AND PUT ON A DISGUISE
WE WAVED A CHOOK AND OUT HE SHOOK
AND OUR MONEY WE TOOK .......

JJUMPAS WAS HIS NAME
NEVER HAD ANY FAME
SEEMS TO KNOW IT ALL
BUT NEVER TAKES A FALL
MOTOR MOUTH WE NKNOW HE HIS
EAR PLUGS ARE HIS BIGGEST FEARS
GOOD HEART IS THIS BLOKE
BUT HEAVEN HELP HIS BLOODY JOKES
THESE ARE ALL TRUE FACTS
SUMO WILL BE THERE TO BACK....

Well Well Well if Dave wasn't trying to mount SUMO or trying to poke a Roo with a stick he was being a down right boar

Got a couple of pics from a place near Manilla. And then a couple of pics of Sumos cows. Sorry I had to shoot one of them Sumo.

That 1st pic looks like Cobar terrain :????

The first pic is Nyngan, the pigs are Jacks Creek near Willow Tree and the moo cows are in Kakadu

lol good on ya dave

Good on ya Dave ???????????

I'll fix your little Red Wagon jason now that SUMO's on his way home

Now I can start telling the good stories of what really happened up there By the way is your face still RED

In case anyone is wondering how SUMO got his new title The Manilla Gorilla well here's a pic of him going out on a date with that telescopic stick they told me that back in Malta they took turns in who wore the GUM BOOTS

There was a man named jason
On a farm was his situation
Ebay he used to spend
Trying to keep up a trend
Untill the debt collector they send
Oh boy what a shock
He hid behind a rock
with sand in his sock
allthough diguise in a frock
they new he was just a mock
and $18000 they got.....

sumo was from minilla
oh boy the size of a gorilla
smart as a fox hunts with rocks
for guns are not his game cause jumpas and i put him to shame
good hearted that for sure but cant shoot a bore
bullshit he repeats trophies are his treat
dust they have collected
trash and treasure are there propestive

i know a guy called jumpas
tells us he wants to humpas
he lives in the south ow what a mouth
never shuts up to let you speak up
but now his been tapped by his mate sumo

Are You For @#%&more @#% Real ?

Talk about the mouth from the South my ears were still ringing with the sound of your voice way into the wee hrs of last last

You gave poor SUMO heart burn & he couldn't sleep either poor bloke had nightmares all night hearing the sound of your voice ringing in his ears as well.

I felt sorry for the poor dog because he's got big ears might have to put him down

catch and jumpas went up the hill
to catch a goat or two
motor mouth of the south
scarde them thru and thru
sumo did say put that gun away
for catch has the stick that will do the trick
and we all lived happily ever after...

now that the Li's have been told it is time to hear from the leader of this great epic, SUMOwill u please tell us of this gr8 hunt as i fear the other two are starching thing a bit.
catch22if u are trying for poet Lorette perhaps some dancing lessons may help because i don't think any thing else will

yeah i now what stick was in your hand catch :o :o :o

OK guys now that I'm in the mood I better start telling the true stories as only Jumpus can

But B4 I do I have to tell you guys that I figured out why Dave's fish died, well when I picked him up Ness answered the door I asked where the Maltese Sausage was ? well the poor girl couldn't hear me cause she was wearing ear muffs & pointed me in Daves direction.

Well Well Well what did I see ? Dave still in his pyjama's swiming around in the fish tank talking to the fish Talk about the mouth from the south by the way I live along way north from him & thats a fact.

Anyways I had to sink in the flying gaff tie it to my tow bar just to pull him out of the bloody tank bloody fat malteso had no choice if you guys had seen what he ate for breakfast you'd understand how much he weighed.

Anyways I stuck Dave in the spin dryer & loaded his gear A Stick into the car whilst he dryed off & we were on our way out woop woop a place called lithgo.

Next thing you know his missus rings to say all the fish where floating he looked @ me & I said

What did you expect you're the only person I know who can talk under water & you burst their ear drums I then told him to tell his missus to tie snapper leads around their necks so they wouldn't float.

I'll carry on the story later but like most cases we all had a good laugh on the trip ewes may not find some things as funny simply because ewe weren't there

oh boy jumpas your nose is gunna grow ..bigger than PINOCCINO

the bloke has a mouth as big as luna park
ungly as ever always in the dark
when he talks no one listens
for all the grapp that flows is just blessin
never shuts up any time of day
my advice to you guys is just stay away


your truely

OK Here Is the real JUMPUS Click to view attachmentWhen we saw his true colours we found him one that would Lay Down without having to shoot it, he said it was very warmClick to view attachment

alright i'm sorry for taking so long,but i'm not a very good poet,but i'll give it a go


This one's to the tune of " i'd love to have a BEER with Duncan "



I'd love to have a fish with Jumpy

Cause Jumpy's everyone's mate

Unless your name is Dingo

Jumpy will be your mate

I'd love to have a fish with Jumpy

Cause Jumpy thinks he's just great

I've heard he can be arsey

Even if on the FIN he aint

Oh how i'd love to have a fish with Jumpy

Hope he don't leave it too late

Cause pretty soon his FIN trips will total eight.





SMELLY

good one smelly ....

Well Well Well !

Ewe Guys Suck @ Poetry unlike Jumpus

Ewe's are killing me with that bad verse & I've decided we need a musical & I've got just the Song

Not many of ewes will find it funny cause ewes wont know what I'm on about but those who do will get a laugh.

So here goes


Davy take off your coat
Real slow
Take off your shoes
I'll take off your shoes
Davy take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes

You can leave your stick on
You can leave your stick on
You can leave your stick on

Go over there, turn on the light
Hey, all the lights
Come over here, stand on that chair
Yeah, that's right
Raise your arms up in the air
Now shake 'em
You give me reason to live

You can leave your stick on
You can leave your stick on
You can leave your stick on

im really starting to wonder about you jumpus ;)

Jas

i was wondering too......but after that,now i'm sure he's...................



SUSS

BTW,i was talking to him friday night on the shoutbox,then all of a sudden he say's "hang on Smelly,i just gotta get some nail polish outta the car"


I guarantee it was PINK.



SMELLY

You bloody Ninny Smelly

I knew that you didn't have a clue what I was on about in the yelling box & I was playing you talking about Nail Polishing my rod& playing with it

I did go out to the car to get some Nail Polish & yes pink is better cause it's more visible which means ewe cansee it better

But you Ninkimpoopy I use it on my fishing rods not my populating tool

The nail polish acts like loctite on the screws when assembling the rollers on the guides but if you would like to paint your nails I've got some left over

Told ewes not many would get my last reply jason thinks Dave is a debt collector

Did'nt have a clue?????

come on man,i was'nt born yesterday,give me a bit of credit,i knew you were 'mucking around'.I thought we both were????

How are we supposed to get it??You wont say anything,cept for a gay poem,and mentioning that 'your playing me'.Mate ya supposed to play the women .

BTW watch that epoxy
SMELLY

Jumpus was telling me the other day that he could have sworn he heard bullets whistling by, when he was stalking a goat. Well, you were correct, Jumpus. I have found the culprit. You were lucky to get out of there with your skin intact. This fellow was only hunting his dinner on that day.