I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing in
line at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but
that I'd lost 25 kilo's before I awakened in an intensive care ward with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been
sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy dog food??

So you can lick your balls

A mate of mine who is a machanic had a lady come in to his work shop and ask if he could repair some of her tyre , puzeled he asked what is wrong.
only the bottom of the tyre is flat she said. he had to walk away so he could piss himself

The question is not whether you can lick your balls, it's why would you lick your balls??? :o :huh:

caus KKW coverd them with honey

YES

Told that one to my Dog & this is what he had to say

Thank's Master and friend ......I needed a laugh...just getting A few quotes in for a couple of job's Im doing around the house..... for a small retainer wall and 2m of timber pool fencing $5000. what a [email="f@#!king"]f@#!king[/email] wanker ....I COULD AND WILL DO IT MY SELF FOR $1000 or less .....burglars .

I'll you what as you know I'm doing some work myself lately & didn't even bother getting quotes.

Worked out even if the project went a month over what it will take I'm still way ahead financially.

Mind you there's not much I cant do ran all the electrical's, plumbing etc just wont connect to the EB as I'm not licenced.

My oldies wanted a new timber floor @ their place a couple of months back so I went out & bought a secret nails gun cause I knew I'd be using it again & the cost of hiring one was ridiculous.

Ordered the new timber yesterday but had leftovers from my oldies place so nearly finish nailing up one of the back rooms.

Ant job os relatively easy if you've got the tools & there's not to many I haven't got kept them all from when I retired.