Sniffer Dog Options

[SUMOFISHIN]

A man had just boarded and settled into his seat next to the window on
the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his
Black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog
was allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he was from the Police Drug Enforcement
Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.

'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.
I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'

The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said,
'Watch this.'
He told Sniffer to 'Search'.

Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very
purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.

Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's
arm. The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and
said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of
her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.

'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man.

Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.

The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds,
returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's
arm.

The Policeman said, 'Two paws mean that man is carrying cocaine, so
again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'

'I like it!' said his seat mate.

The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'Search' again.

Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for
a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the
middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.

The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn't
figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.

So he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on?'

The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.

[poly]

A man had just boarded and settled into his seat next to the window on
the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his
Black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man.

The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog
was allowed on the plane.

The second man explained that he was from the Police Drug Enforcement
Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'.

'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is.
I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'

The plane took off, and once it has leveled out, the Policeman said,
'Watch this.'
He told Sniffer to 'Search'.

Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very
purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.

Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's
arm. The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and
said, 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of
her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.

'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man.

Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles.

The Lab sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds,
returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's
arm.

The Policeman said, 'Two paws mean that man is carrying cocaine, so
again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'

'I like it!' said his seat mate.

The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'Search' again.

Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for
a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the
middle seat and proceeded to shit all over the place.

The first man was really disgusted by this behavior and couldn't
figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.

So he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on?'

The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.

ood one sumo

[poly]

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? .........

"What . .. . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"
___________________________
Irish blonde...

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.


Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,
..... but all men...are men!