Wun Potato Tu Potato Options

[Jumpus GooDarus]

Well peeps I did sneaky sneaky & went out Bushy Wushy been a few years
A mate of mine put the idea into my head early last week & i wasn't to keen when i realised it was a long weekend.
So made a few ling lings & wasn't looking to goodarus so thought bugger it told him to take his own car cause i didn't have to come back.

Was down @ Big Potato's place 1st couple of days so i'll get that plic out of the way 1st plic indeed here's a warning dont go there unless ewe's want a Bloody Big Potato Jumpus'n on ya's whilst ewes are trying to get sleep.

Plic did that to me & i had my arms crossed under my body to make things worse else i would've grabbed his kahoona's & twisted the crap out of them

No way i could move & the plic was trying to stick his tongue in my ear not a pretty sight let me tell ewes

Anyways picked up a couple of ferrets on way down just as well cause i reckon Bloody Big Potato had tried sticking his tongue @ wotever he could find & had scared everything away.

Not good that day Spudly's black mongrel was obsessed with ferrets so i moved them out to the shed ontop of the pool table, have 2b safe there i thought spuds dog has legs shorter than salty's & wont reach.

Ha didn't count on Jack the ripper though, all out by the fire & i heard big potato yelling @ the muts had no idea why, walked over & net was holding wun of the ferrets, dogs had got 2 them so wrapped female ferret up in rags she was fretting.

No idea where male was did a couple of laps with spotlight to no avail, next morn i get up check on ferret & she was deed, on way back to house passed chooks & noticed nets pet chookens sleeping in so i thought saw digging around pen looked back @ chookens knew it so was deed lifted lid on box & there was the male ferret curled up inside.

Went out & did some ferreting that day originally i named the ferrets Net & Pez & after losing female only had male left he was much better looking than Pez so i renamed him George



Get to rest of trip down @ Spudly's later ron

[Spudly]

Comon.... I wanna know hat happened at Spudleys!

[Jumpus GooDarus]

Oh ! Allright then

Left big potato's around 2ish & got to Spudleys just b4 8 pm i think just in time for dinner.
Spud put on a treat as well, fresh mouses.
He had his ket called puss ketching mouses & straight into the fire place they would go a few tried jumping out put they weren't quick enough for the jumpus.
5 minutes on the coals was all it took2cook then dipped them in caramel sauce alot nicer than kk's caramel coated rats

Puss Puss




After dinner we opted to go for a shoot in a bid to find sum porky's
Had to use a spotlight cause it was DARK OUT THERE

We went on a wild pig chase without any pigs roo's were everywhere & settled for foxy's & some hair

Well peeps i hadn't given spudley any IQ tip yet & bastard kept zotting everything everywhere exept headzots & i said to him.
Spudley you irriot hows Fed going to wear those hairs ????????
There's a bloody big hole in them & his head will still shine

Sit back & watch the master show ewe how it's done
Wulla Head Zot & a perfect thingy for Fed's Hed



Would've kept it's Gumballs for seafairy exept he was a she

Called it a night after that went back to spudly's & lit a fire out in the yard well spud tried to 5 gallons of petrol later still no fire so wunce again jumpus had to step in & give spud some more IQ.

Sat there laughing watching him rubbing 2 sticks together & only cause it was cold i pulledout my lighter & we had flame

[Spudly]

Well peeps i hadn't given spudley any IQ tip yet & bastard kept zotting everything everywhere exept headzots & i said to him.
Spudley you irriot hows Fed going to wear those hairs ????????
There's a bloody big hole in them & his head will still shine

Sit back & watch the master show ewe how it's done
Wulla Head Zot & a perfect thingy for Fed's Hed

No wonder there was no pigs, they all ran off cause they knew you told such big PORKY'S..

Truth of the matter is that you could only shoot them in the back legs and then spend 10 mins chasing them on your two feet with them running on their front to feet you still couldnt catch them.. Only when I came to help with my size 10 steel cap did we finally manage to pull that one up..

Boy o Boy did I wish i had a video camera for that one.. Someome was slightly short of breath when they got back to the car..

Mind you while ill pick on him for all his missed shots. We did find on day 2 that his hornet had a bad targeting system and after giving the barrel and bolt a quick clean we got her back on song..

It is hard shooting out of a car with no rests and a hand held spotlight too.. So we took a better shooting rig that was GPS equiped out the next day!! Im sure there is a pic of that floating around! ;)

[Jumpus GooDarus]

No wonder there was no pigs, they all ran off cause they knew you told such big PORKY'S..

Truth of the matter is that you could only shoot them in the back legs and then spend 10 mins chasing them on your two feet with them running on their front to feet you still couldnt catch them.. Only when I came to help with my size 10 steel cap did we finally manage to pull that one up..

Talk about porkys
Hu zot it in the leg ??????????
Not me i only head zot & after ewe missed 2nd zot & ran out of bullets it was up to jumpus to get out behind steering wheel & chase it
Should have worn my runing shoes instead of boots

[Spudly]

Should have worn my runing shoes instead of boots

Should have worn your Mankini...

Hu zot it in the leg ??????????
Not me i only head zot & after ewe missed 2nd zot & ran out of bullets it was up to jumpus to get out behind steering wheel & chase it

The only Hit you had was on the Jig!!

[NetPez]

Glad you got jumpy on to some animals
sounds like he had a goodarus time
Since he left here its been rainy and cold
ive been away working
and the piggies have had a great time next door
down the bottom near us and the front paddock
look like a tractor has ploughed them
(this is where i was hopeing to take jumpy)
so the scope is cleaned and checked
and hope to get crosshairs on to some thing tonight

[Spudly]

Comon JG, What Porkies have to got to tell about Day 2?

Oh and Pez, will prob be down in a few weeks. Greg's Bday Party 16th 17th i think!

[Jumpus GooDarus]

so the scope is cleaned and checked
and hope to get crosshairs on to some thing tonight

Those piggy's better watch out Pez
Bet you'll give them a real Ear Licking

[Jumpus GooDarus]

Comon JG, What Porkies have to got to tell about Day 2?

Buggered if i know i must be getting Alshashanist desease like Fed has

Oh yeah it twas Nicoles Bertday
Nic
Me & Spud thought we'd do sumting special so we went into town & robbed the bank
Den we went & got 2 more ferrets from the local ferret dude thought the dude has duded me later that day with dud ferrets gotten from the dude.
And Den ????
We went & got some lunch & we ett it & back to spudley's after dat thought we might go out & do a bit of ferreting not B4 i had to put this bloody big white thing into it's place the brurry thing wouldn't shut up a bit like Fed but not quite.

Yo Fed i know you're known as a goose but tell me this aint a relo



Even let the mutt off the chain to sort out big bird but to no avail, Big Potato had gotten to him b4 me & the mongrel had taken up Ear Licking
The wittle mongrel cracked me up




Oh well off we went ferreting for those hu haven't done it's good fun can use individual nets over each hole or the jumpus way



Got a few out of this warren but the ferret the ferret dude sold me looked like being a dud bastard kept poking it's head out & going back down the hole so we left him there & were going to check on him later that arvo.



Went out to a nutter paddock layed the nets out got a couple me tinks but ferret was playing silly bugger like wun we left @ other warren
Saw a wabbit doing bolta towards us followed a foxy said to spudley look here's your chance to get sum more IQ but that foxy was way to smart for spudley his ZOT missed & foxy was laughing @ him

Whilst spud was chasing foxy i saw a wabbit come out one of the holes it was getting late fading light wabbit stayed in sight 1/2 in hole with ears pricked back, we'd allready packed the nets away in a bid to lure out ferret i went for my boom boom stick wabbit went back in hole last ditch effort put down last ferret.

Wabbit was runing original ferret around in circles with 2nd ferret in holes wabbit wasn't so clever & ran straight out, new prob both ferrets kept appearing @ different holes & wouldn't let me pick them up that's wen i invented

Jigging For Ferrets

Got one of the wittle wabbits harnassed it up jigged it around the holes & retrieved both ferrets in no time

Gotta Get Jiggy Wit It



Packed up after that stoped by udder warren but no ferret was dark by now back to spuds, down the pub for dinner
And Den out for a Spotlight no pigs plenty of hares roo's were in plague proportions flock of emu's 2 chickens & a duck
Stoped by pub on way home spuds mate Ben was up to no good pissed as a parrot we called it a night after dat

[Spudly]

that's wen i invented

Jigging For Ferrets

Hmmm... Whoose Idea was it?

Think we should change your name to Porkus Storyus! ;)

Couldnt get JG to leave poor old edward the turkey alone, he was following him everywhere and kept calling him FED, trying to have a conversation with it.. Scared the poor things so much the Hen dissapeared into some grevillia shrubs a dropped some eggs out her backside and spent the next few days hiding in there. She still hasnt come out..

[NetPez]

lots of porkies being told?
saw 7 piggies last night but were on run and missed them
have a property 1/2 hour awayfrom here good for ferrets
lotsa wabbits and carp u know the wun Chad
where i worked
love to see jumpy chasing the wabbits round and round

[Jumpus GooDarus]

Couldnt get JG to leave poor old edward the turkey alone, he was following him everywhere and kept calling him FED, trying to have a conversation with it..

I was trying to get some information in regards to condensation in fuel tanks from it
But all i could got was gobbled @

[Spudly]

Day 3? haha

[Jumpus GooDarus]

Spent day 3 @ the pub

[Spudly]

The pub..... I think day 3 was our most productive of the few days...

Actually on that, have to say that I had a top few days. Got heaps of hunting options at my doorstep and its funny how when you get a visitor come up thats keen to get out and do a few things that it gets you in the mood.. The ferrets were great fun and actually thinking of getting a few myself now..

We really had a crack at it all over the few days, I wont say anymore though as i dont want to spoil day 3's story..

All in all a very productive few days and som good fun and a lot of laughs.. Think my guest even had a good time.. Mind you, my ears are still recovering ;)

Lets seeeee what sorta PORKY's he will come up with for Day 3!

[Jumpus GooDarus]

Nope cause ewe're the wun telling all the porky's & ruining my goodarus story's

Finished the new ferret cage this morn & the little buggers love it in there, they're like little monkeys

Named the darker wun kkw sitting behind bars suits him

[Spudly]

Oh yea, have to whack up some pics of the ferret cage.. still thinking bout grabbing a few myself..

Haha, the girl ya got from up here still my fav....

[Jumpus GooDarus]

Day tree

Woke up bright & early around 10 am 1st stop was warren we lost ferret day b4 no sign of him so sent the girl ferret down the hole took about 5 minutes & they both came out so it was a good start to the day.

Next stop was out to Hop-a-longs place they had no idea on how to drive a Blue tractor had only driven a red wun b4 & asked if i'd learna them how to drive a blue wun, got out to the paddock put out a lure spread & started trolloping away that's the big teaser out the back.



Driving lessons out of the way me & Spudly went off & did a bit more ferreting, had Quail shooting out from under us & looks like jumpus is getting a new mutt even picked out a name JED .

Ferrets started working well this day as i had given them some IQ all that was left now was to give Spudley some of that IQ i had heaps of it to give.

Ferreting out of the way mid arvo back to spuds picked up the Boom Boom Sticks & went looking for Porky's Spud brought Zena aka Warrior Princess along so now i had 2 mutts to hunt with.

Back of the ute Zena got a wiff & thank god it wasn't Spud letting off a rotten potato, let mutt of leash & off she went on her merry way, spud reckoned she was just fart arsing around but Jumpus with all the IQ knew better.

Chased her for about a klm & tickle me fanny we had around 20 pigs in front of us, it was time time for the Legend called Jumpus to show the Spud what IQ is all about, I measured wind velocity by licking my finger held it up to the breeze pulled out my Boom Boom Stick & pulled the trigger without even aiming & ZOT 3 & 1/2 pigs with just the wun bullet.

Imagine how many i would've got had I'd been aiming



Because of all the IQ that I have I also took notice in which direction all the udder porky's went so into the ute we hoped Zena got wind again off she went & it was a good klm chase think she was knacked so i let the udder mutt Spudacus Mutterus of his leash to give her a hand.

A bit of a Goofy Foot spud reckons it was the Fred Astair movies he'd watched



Well the 2 mutts finally caught the talking piggy



Wunce again Jumpus came up on top that's what a person with IQ does



Twas a good day out even got back to Spuds B4 dark just in time to check yabby trap i'd put out earlier that day didn't have high hopes this time of year yabby's tend to disappear into the mud.

But did ok around 15 in the trap

[Spudly]

I shall rename you Jumpus Porkyus "chopper" goodarus!

Cause you never let the truth stand in the way of a story!!

But yeah, was a good day... Xena (Not ruby as indicated in pic) Done good, couple of really good finds, she is generally the lazy dog and just follows ruby.. Got her on a stringent exercise program now to try and get her a bit fitter and build some stamina..

No wonder I had to drop 2 of the pigs cause in all your IQ you not only forget to aim you also forgot that you wernt holding the gun.. Lucky someone was and managed to get you some pork! ;)

Have the boys cooked it up yet? have you eaten any of your catch?